Team USA Goes Full NASA With New Olympic Snowboarding Suits

All hands on deck. These new USA Snowboarding threads are hotter than glowing red part of the earth's surface after being smashed into by another terrestrial object thus creating our immediate planetary satellite, the moon (in theory).

I have no idea how hot that is. They're hotter than the heat shield on an Apollo space capsule bringing back humans from a trip to the moon. They're hotter than the dang coffee in my overpriced thermos from Whole Foods. Look, I love them.

Burton Snowboards get to make all the gear the snowboarding men and women representing the USA will wear in Korea this February. The designers went full-on retro-inspired, 1980s space-suit-wearing, NASA spacewalking astronaut. From the patches to the gloves to the full snow onesie, I love it all. 

Oh, the first layer is space shuttle orange?!

You know who else loves that? #SpaceBaby

#SpaceBaby made contact with an alien life-form tonight. pic.twitter.com/RrCQAR09WY

— Gregr (@heygregr) November 1, 2017

Since there's no way I'm A. getting that white spacewalk onesie with golden hood insides or B. gonna fit into it, I guess my favorite piece of apparel is the sorta pearl white oyster mouth colored thermals:

Pretty sure the only way to get this gear is to make USA Snowboarding Team and travel to the Phoenix Snow Park and Alpensia Ski Jumping Center in PyeongChang in February... Does Burton usually sell the gear? If they do, I bet it costs almost as much as the spacesuits it's based upon. Also, I don't even snowboard. Whatever.