social icons WMMM twitterfacebook RSS facebook twitter RSS Center

Jonathan Suttin

What does Jonathan have to say?



Tiger's New Endorsement?

tigerTiger Woods is losing endorsements left and right.  However, it appears there may be a new product for Tiger to endorse in the near future.  The guys from Vivid Video (which makes adult films) apparently got a hold of a sex-tape featuring the world's greatest golfer. The head of Vivid is a guy named Steven Hirsch.  He's not sure if it's really Tiger in the video, but  he says if it is indeed Tiger his first plan is to approach the golfer for a possible endorsement. I'm not really sure if that will be the greatest phone call.  I'm sure Hirsch won't get to Tiger directly, but I think he may be able to talk with Tiger's agent. Here's how the conversation might go: Agent: "Time is money.  Life is a big sandtrap.  Talk to me!" Hirsch: "Howdy, this is Steven Hirsch and I'm actually very intersted in having Tiger do some endorsements for us." Agent: "Really?!  You know my client has had a rough patch lately and is losing clients every few days.  However, I'm happy you see the value in Tiger and how his personal life isn't really that important when it comes to all the achievements he's made in the golf world.  Yes, he made a mistake but let's be real.  This country is all about making mistakes and then climbing back from the abyss to redeem yourself." Hirsch: "Yeah.  Well, I'm--- Agent: "I'm just so excited.  I don't mean to go on and  on but it's been so tough for us here at Camp Tiger.  I mean did we really have to get dropped by finance, shaving and phones all in a matter of weeks?!  I've got expenses too!  I have to admit I may have gone a little overboard these last few years.  How could I not?  I'm friggin' Tiger Woods agent.  Everything he touches usually turns to gold!!!  How could I not buy myself a sports car or two or three or four?  I'M TIGER WOODS AGENT!  I'm not supposed to take a trip around the world twice in a private cruise ship?  I deserve it!  Is it asking too much to have all my clothes hand stiched in Italy by virgin seamstresses?  Not sure why they had to be virgins, but it sounded cool and it only cost an extra $35-thousand dollars per shirt!  Anyway, I need to calm down and take a breath.  So what did you want Tiger to endorse? Hirsch: "Actually this may not be such a great idea." Agent: "No, dude.  Come on!  I have three people on my staff that are paid to make sure that when I go to a restaurant the table I'm eating at is set up just right.  It's important.  You know I have to have all my goldware lined up perfectly when I'm going to eat a meal. Hirsch: "Did you say goldware?  Don't you mean silverware?" Agent: "Hey.  Goldware is not that big of a deal.  Tiger has platniumware." Hirsch:  "Okay.  I still don't know if you'll like my idea." Agent: "I already LOVE IT and I don't even know what it is." Hirsch: Fine.  We got a hold off a sex tape and Tiger may be the star." Agent: " " Hirsch: "Hello.  Are you still there?" Agent: " " Hirsch: "Hello." Agent: "Is he wearing his Nike hat?" Hirsch: "I don't think so." Agent: "Damn!  I thought we could get some kind of cross promote, but we'll still take it."

Tags :  
Social :


Share This: | More


 
01/06/2010 8:26AM
Tiger's New Endorsement?
Please Enter Your Comments Below
Title :
Comment :
Listen Live (WMMM)
Playlist (WMMM)
Activate With M
Submit
Like WifeSwap, only different
BandSwap is back in Madison! The Madison Arts Commission is supporting this event, in which bands from different cities change places. This time, a band from Fort Collins, Colorado is heading to Madison, while Sexy Ester from Madison will be hitting...
Read More
World's Worst iPod: Helen Reddy "You and Me Against the World"
We found a perfect song on the iPod for Meteorologist Brian Olson's birthday. Helen Reddy's "You and Me Against the World" was a heartfelt song that was out at the time of his birthday, 40 years ago today. Despite its sentimentality, Brian...
Read More
Are the new Beatles mono remasters on vinyl worth it?
Last week, the Beatles re-released their catalog on vinyl, in mono, the way the Beatles wanted you to hear their music. Is it worth spending 400 dollars or so on the box set, or would it be better to just pick up some of your favorites--for around 22...
Read More
World's Worst iPod: John Denver "Fly Away"
John Denver's "Fly Away" was released in 1975, and made it all the way to #13 on the charts. It wasn't one of his biggest hits, but a lot of folks who were listening this morning sure wanted to hear it. It brought back horrific memories for...
Read More
Worst souvenirs ever?
When most people go on vacation, they usually spend some of the time perusing gift shops, checking out cool souvenirs like snow globes depicting ocean views, miniature spoons, t-shirts, or potpourri and candles. When my boyfriend Mike and I go on...
Read More
We still miss you Stevie Ray Vaughan
It's hard to believe it's been 24 years since we lost Stevie Ray Vaughan in that helicopter crash after a show at Alpine Valley. I've talked to lots of people who were at that concert, which also featured Eric Clapton, Buddy Guy, and...
Read More
World's Worst iPod: Donny Osmond "Soldier of Love"
It's hard to believe that Donny Osmond scored his second biggest solo hit in 1989, but it's true! "Soldier of Love" went all the way to #2 on the charts. When the song was released, the record company was afraid no one would buy a...
Read More
Butch Vig--the actor?
Butch Vig and his pal from Garbage Duke Erikson, Freedy Johnson, and Jay Moran get together every once in a while as "The Know-it-all Boyfriends."  Well they're getting the band back together, and this time they're doing it for a...
Read More
 
Recent Blog Posts
Like WifeSwap, only different
BandSwap is back in Madison! The Madison Arts Commission is supporting this event, in which bands from different cities change places. This time, a band from Fort Collins, Colorado is heading to Madison, while Sexy Ester from Madison will be hitting...
Read More
World's Worst iPod: Helen Reddy "You and Me Against the World"
We found a perfect song on the iPod for Meteorologist Brian Olson's birthday. Helen Reddy's "You and Me Against the World" was a heartfelt song that was out at the time of his birthday, 40 years ago today. Despite its sentimentality, Brian...
Read More
Are the new Beatles mono remasters on vinyl worth it?
Last week, the Beatles re-released their catalog on vinyl, in mono, the way the Beatles wanted you to hear their music. Is it worth spending 400 dollars or so on the box set, or would it be better to just pick up some of your favorites--for around 22...
Read More
World's Worst iPod: John Denver "Fly Away"
John Denver's "Fly Away" was released in 1975, and made it all the way to #13 on the charts. It wasn't one of his biggest hits, but a lot of folks who were listening this morning sure wanted to hear it. It brought back horrific memories for...
Read More
Worst souvenirs ever?
When most people go on vacation, they usually spend some of the time perusing gift shops, checking out cool souvenirs like snow globes depicting ocean views, miniature spoons, t-shirts, or potpourri and candles. When my boyfriend Mike and I go on...
Read More
We still miss you Stevie Ray Vaughan
It's hard to believe it's been 24 years since we lost Stevie Ray Vaughan in that helicopter crash after a show at Alpine Valley. I've talked to lots of people who were at that concert, which also featured Eric Clapton, Buddy Guy, and...
Read More
World's Worst iPod: Donny Osmond "Soldier of Love"
It's hard to believe that Donny Osmond scored his second biggest solo hit in 1989, but it's true! "Soldier of Love" went all the way to #2 on the charts. When the song was released, the record company was afraid no one would buy a...
Read More
Butch Vig--the actor?
Butch Vig and his pal from Garbage Duke Erikson, Freedy Johnson, and Jay Moran get together every once in a while as "The Know-it-all Boyfriends."  Well they're getting the band back together, and this time they're doing it for a...
Read More
Categories
Archives