social icons WMMM twitterfacebook RSS facebook twitter RSS Center

Kitty Dunn

What does Kitty have to say?


 


The graduation speech you'll never hear

I've never been asked to give a commencement address, but if I was asked, I've got the speech ready to go. --Greetings, graduates, faculty, staff, and family. Like Vice President Joe Biden once said, this is a Big F*#&(ing Deal. You've managed to accomplish something, by getting a degree. And that's a pretty big deal. An actual accomplishment. That means either you've taken advantage of the opportunities that this fine institution has offered you. Or it means you've learned how to work the system. Maybe ten years from now you'll remember the symbolism in the novels of Joseph Conrad, the diameter of interstellar dust, or how to conjugate ser and estar. But you probably won't. There's a pretty good chance ten years from now you will remember your first room-mate from your freshman year, and the name of that girl who threw up and passed out under your porch. But if you're like a lot of college graduates, the most important thing you will have learned is how to do is to work the system. To get the most credits for the least possible work. You don't want your parents to know it...but you avoided some classes because the prof was too tough. You stayed away from others because they were too early in the morning, or they met on Friday. Who takes classes on Friday anyway? This works great in the Real World...bosses don't care if you arrive late and leave early. If you pass off other people's work as your own. Or if you do everything last minute. You're looking at me like I don't know what I'm talking about. But I do. All that does work well, if you're a member of Congress. So that's my advice to you, Graduates. After you leave here today, go file your papers to run for Congress. Hopefully you know somebody really rich to finance your campaign. Good luck. And Godspeed.

Tags :  
Social :


Share This: | More


 
05/14/2010 6:39AM
The graduation speech you'll never hear
Please Enter Your Comments Below
Title :
Comment :
Listen Live (WMMM)
Playlist (WMMM)
2 Minute Promise
Submit
World's Worst iPod - Barry Manilow Copacabana
As you can probably guess, Kitty was on vacation so Jonathan managed to get Barry Manilow's Copacabana on the air this morning for the World's Worst iPod. The song actually made it to number 8 back in 1979. All you Fanilows out there enjoy....
Read More
World's Worst iPod: Kajagoogoo "Too Shy"
Gotta love the '80s! Depending on who you're talking to, Kajagoogoo's "Too Shy" is either a song that defines the decade, in a good way, or it's a song that gives all other '80s songs a bad name. It made it to #5 on the charts in...
Read More
Discover & Download: Bad Suns
This Week's Discover & Download is: Bad Suns - 'Salt'
5 Things You Probably Didn't Know about Birthday Boy Neil Young
Happy 69th birthday to my favorite self-proclaimed "rich hippie," Neil Young. I remember when I was a kid, I hated Neil's voice. I didn't even particularly care for his songs CSNY albums, but the guy grew on me, and he's now one of my...
Read More
World's Worst iPod: Mac and Katie Kissoon "Chirpy Chirpy Cheep"
There was a lot of love this morning for a song that made it up to #20 in 1971 for the brother sister team of Mac and Katie Kissoon. The pair hailed from Trinidad and this was their only Top 40 hit.
Freebies for Veterans
Today's the day to thank a vet! Many restaurants are doing their part to say "thank you" by offering free food items. Since restrictions vary depending on where you go, you may want to call first to make sure you understand what you need to do to...
Read More
Discover & Download: Guster
This week's Discover & Download is: 'Simple Machine' by Guster.
World's Worst iPod: Robbie Nevil "C'est La Vie"
"That's just the way things go," croons Robbie Nevil in the soong "C'est La Vie." Despite the fact that the theme seemed to fit the way a lot of people feel today, there just wasn't enough to support playing it in its entirety. Released...
Read More
 
Recent Blog Posts
World's Worst iPod - Barry Manilow Copacabana
As you can probably guess, Kitty was on vacation so Jonathan managed to get Barry Manilow's Copacabana on the air this morning for the World's Worst iPod. The song actually made it to number 8 back in 1979. All you Fanilows out there enjoy....
Read More
World's Worst iPod: Kajagoogoo "Too Shy"
Gotta love the '80s! Depending on who you're talking to, Kajagoogoo's "Too Shy" is either a song that defines the decade, in a good way, or it's a song that gives all other '80s songs a bad name. It made it to #5 on the charts in...
Read More
Discover & Download: Bad Suns
This Week's Discover & Download is: Bad Suns - 'Salt'
5 Things You Probably Didn't Know about Birthday Boy Neil Young
Happy 69th birthday to my favorite self-proclaimed "rich hippie," Neil Young. I remember when I was a kid, I hated Neil's voice. I didn't even particularly care for his songs CSNY albums, but the guy grew on me, and he's now one of my...
Read More
World's Worst iPod: Mac and Katie Kissoon "Chirpy Chirpy Cheep"
There was a lot of love this morning for a song that made it up to #20 in 1971 for the brother sister team of Mac and Katie Kissoon. The pair hailed from Trinidad and this was their only Top 40 hit.
Freebies for Veterans
Today's the day to thank a vet! Many restaurants are doing their part to say "thank you" by offering free food items. Since restrictions vary depending on where you go, you may want to call first to make sure you understand what you need to do to...
Read More
Discover & Download: Guster
This week's Discover & Download is: 'Simple Machine' by Guster.
World's Worst iPod: Robbie Nevil "C'est La Vie"
"That's just the way things go," croons Robbie Nevil in the soong "C'est La Vie." Despite the fact that the theme seemed to fit the way a lot of people feel today, there just wasn't enough to support playing it in its entirety. Released...
Read More
Categories
Archives