I've never been asked to give a commencement address, but if I was asked, I've got the speech ready to go.
--Greetings, graduates, faculty, staff, and family.
Like Vice President Joe Biden once said, this is a Big F*#&(ing Deal.
You've managed to accomplish something, by getting a degree. And that's a pretty big deal. An actual accomplishment. That means either you've taken advantage of the opportunities that this fine institution has offered you. Or it means you've learned how to work the system.
Maybe ten years from now you'll remember the symbolism in the novels of Joseph Conrad, the diameter of interstellar dust, or how to conjugate ser and estar. But you probably won't.
There's a pretty good chance ten years from now you will remember your first room-mate from your freshman year, and the name of that girl who threw up and passed out under your porch.
But if you're like a lot of college graduates, the most important thing you will have learned is how to do is to work the system. To get the most credits for the least possible work. You don't want your parents to know it...but you avoided some classes because the prof was too tough. You stayed away from others because they were too early in the morning, or they met on Friday. Who takes classes on Friday anyway?
This works great in the Real World...bosses don't care if you arrive late and leave early. If you pass off other people's work as your own. Or if you do everything last minute.
You're looking at me like I don't know what I'm talking about. But I do. All that does work well, if you're a member of Congress.
So that's my advice to you, Graduates. After you leave here today, go file your papers to run for Congress. Hopefully you know somebody really rich to finance your campaign.
Good luck. And Godspeed.
The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, it is another gorgeous Monday, fit for another great show at the Crystal Corner tonight.
Through locking ourselves in the barn on Irish Lane, tossing some ideas around, as well as a few choice beverages to...
Hey everybody, we were thrown for a loop by the twist this week, but were able to make one of our "oldie but a goldie" songs fit the mold.
We have a few songs that we have played consistently over the years, and we are very happy that we will be...
We just received word of what this weeks twist is, and...oh boy. We need to take our "signature song" and cut it to only 2:30 without going over. Amberstein does not simply play 2:30 versions of our songs...so this could be interesting.
Last...
In 1984, Rockwell rose to number 2 for 3 weeks in 1984 with "Somebody's Watching Me." The backup singer for the song was Michael Jackson. How did Rockwell get Jackson to help him? Well, Rockwell's real name is Kennedy William Gordy and he...
Have you heard the song "Rumble and Sway" yet on Triple M?
The singer sounds like a raspy blues dude who's definitely been around the block a few times....but surprisingly, Jamie N. Commons is only 23 years old!
He was born in England, but...
Last week, I decided I would try one new, healthy food a week, and asked my facebook friends to make some suggestions.
The first thing I tried was mango. I'm sure I've had other mango flavored things, and mango as part of something else, but...
There's only one thing that might be worse than the Neil Diamond/Barbra Streisand duet "You Don't Bring Me Flowers." And that's Jonathan Suttin doing his best crooning...doing both parts. Most unpleasant.
A lot of people liked this song...
Artist: Alchemilla
Hail From: Boston
Song: 'The Wheel'
Album: Diamonds From The Penny Arcade
Sounds Like: Hole, Pearl Jam
In Their Words: "Alchemilla had been trying to write a ballad for a little while but it wasn't happening. There...
The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, it is another gorgeous Monday, fit for another great show at the Crystal Corner tonight.
Through locking ourselves in the barn on Irish Lane, tossing some ideas around, as well as a few choice beverages to...
Hey everybody, we were thrown for a loop by the twist this week, but were able to make one of our "oldie but a goldie" songs fit the mold.
We have a few songs that we have played consistently over the years, and we are very happy that we will be...
We just received word of what this weeks twist is, and...oh boy. We need to take our "signature song" and cut it to only 2:30 without going over. Amberstein does not simply play 2:30 versions of our songs...so this could be interesting.
Last...
In 1984, Rockwell rose to number 2 for 3 weeks in 1984 with "Somebody's Watching Me." The backup singer for the song was Michael Jackson. How did Rockwell get Jackson to help him? Well, Rockwell's real name is Kennedy William Gordy and he...
Have you heard the song "Rumble and Sway" yet on Triple M?
The singer sounds like a raspy blues dude who's definitely been around the block a few times....but surprisingly, Jamie N. Commons is only 23 years old!
He was born in England, but...
Last week, I decided I would try one new, healthy food a week, and asked my facebook friends to make some suggestions.
The first thing I tried was mango. I'm sure I've had other mango flavored things, and mango as part of something else, but...
There's only one thing that might be worse than the Neil Diamond/Barbra Streisand duet "You Don't Bring Me Flowers." And that's Jonathan Suttin doing his best crooning...doing both parts. Most unpleasant.
A lot of people liked this song...
Artist: Alchemilla
Hail From: Boston
Song: 'The Wheel'
Album: Diamonds From The Penny Arcade
Sounds Like: Hole, Pearl Jam
In Their Words: "Alchemilla had been trying to write a ballad for a little while but it wasn't happening. There...
