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Jonathan Suttin

Kitty Dunn

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Real reason Newt wants to colonize the moon

I'm probably not the only one who was a little surprised that Newt Gingrich is serious about wanting the U.S. space program to colonize the moon.

While Mitt Romney took it seriously at a Florida debate, saying it would be way too expensive, I liked Ron Paul's respsonse better. He said "we should send some politicians to the moon."

But then I did some serious thinking about Newt's motivation, and I came up some theories.

1. Newt felt he wasn't getting enough mentions on the late night talk shows.

2. He always had a crush on Alice Kramden from the Honeymooners, and thought there was a chance Ralph actually sent her there. No wait, Alice would be too old.

3. He's in the pocket of the Tang lobby, and is interested in exploring new markets for the artificially flavored beverage.  Evidence below.








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Topics : Entertainment_Culture
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Locations : Florida
People : Ron Paul


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01/27/2012 9:37AM
Real reason Newt wants to colonize the moon
Please Enter Your Comments Below
01/27/2012 12:42PM
Newt Moon
See that moon, Mit? Some day I'm gonna lasso that moon for you....
01/27/2012 2:48PM
Good one!
Nice George Bailey reference, (Steve is that you?)
01/27/2012 3:12PM
geoff wilbourn
He needs a new wife
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