Nickname FAIL by Jonathan's Jabberings,posted Feb 26 2013 9:31AM
As a kid I always wanted a nickname. Jonny is sort of a nickname for Jonathan, but not the kind of nickname I’m talking about. I like people who have an origin story related to the nickname. A perfect example was a friend of mine in college. His name is Robert, but everyone called him Slider. The name came about one night when he was drunk at a bar and couldn’t lift his drink. He was sliding his beer across the bar and the name was born. Granted that’s not a glorious story, but it’s still a story.
I never had a story of something awesome or stupid I did that could be turned into a nickname. I also never gave myself a nickname because that would be poor form. However, someone forgot to send the poor form instructions to Dwayne Wade of the Miami Heat. Wade is now calling himself “WOW”.
Wow, that is bad.
He says it stands for World of Wade and is part of his new shoe deal. It sounds pretty stupid and even his teammate LeBron James doesn’t like it. I’m sure Wade is doing it so he can peddle more shoes, but he could have spent a little more time with his marketing team to come up with a better name.
Solid Seth by Adam Elliot,posted Feb 25 2013 9:40AM
Seth MacFarlane did a solid job at last night’s Oscars. He is quite an interesting character. He can be VERY obnoxious and downright foul. However, he also has a really appreciation of classics. Check out his performance at the Royal Albert Hall in London back in 2009.
Is it possible to be a sophisticated man with a rather sophomoric sense of humor? He can sing and dance, but also write songs about women’s breasts. Last night he did a great job of mixing class and crude together and making easy for everyone to swallow.
Trick Shot by Jonathan's Jabberings,posted Feb 22 2013 10:49AM
Ashlee Arnau is a cheerleader at William Carey University in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. Since Christmas she's been trying to make a trick shot at the team's home basetball games. It didn't work until now...
It happened on senior night which makes it even better. So I guess practice (or maybe a little luck) makes perfect.
Spider Sense by Jonathan's Jabberings,posted Feb 14 2013 8:26AM
Did you hear the story of the golfer who got bit by a Black Widow spider while golfing and managed to finish her round?! It's an inspiring story, but also annoying. Now I feel like I can never sit out the rest of a kickball game because I've eaten too many brats.
The golfer is Daniela Holmqvist and she was playing a qualifying round at the Australia Open. Not only did she play through the bite (which happened on the 4th hole), but she got the venom out with her golf tee!
Ultimate T.V. by Jonathan's Jabberings,posted Feb 13 2013 9:58AM
Have you ever gone into a fancy store and noticed there are no price tags on the items? Me neither, but apparently they exist. So how do you know what things cost? You don't, but these stores are so high-end the wealthy customers don't have to ask the price. They can afford everything.
So this new product is for all of you who don't have to ask the price. Check it out:
Ugly Truth by Jonathan's Jabberings,posted Feb 7 2013 10:56AM
The more I think about it, the more it bothers me that people were so upset by that Go Daddy Super Bowl add. You saw it right? It featured the supermodel Bar Rafeali and a rather ugly kid making out. The joke is that Go Daddy is a perfect mix of beauty and brains.
The kiss is rather passion and it seems like it goes on forever. In real life, Bar Rafeali used to date Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm sure most people wouldn't mind seeing the two of them kiss, but seeing Bar hook up with a nerdy ugly guy seems to turn people’s stomachs.
Why? Are we really that shallow? Why can’t ugly and beautiful be mixed together?
Of course the kid who got to make out with the supermodel isn’t complaining that it grossed people out. First of all, they had to shoot the commercial more than 30 times. So he got to kiss her over and over again. Secondly, it’s boosted his appeal. The nerd, Jessie Heiman has already been in a few movies and t.v. shows so the commercial should up his value. And did I mention he got to kiss her over and over.
Super BAD Bowl by Jonathan's Jabberings,posted Feb 5 2013 9:51AM
From time to time Jonathan’s son Joshua writes a blog for his old man. Today is one of those days.
Greetings Gang,
It’s been a little while since I’ve written a blog. A lot has happened in my world. I can now hold my head up and I can roll over to my back, sometimes. I’m writing a blog today because I can’t believe the Super Bowl will be outdoors in New Jersey next year! What the heck is the NFL thinking? I’ve been told this has been in the works for a few years. I may have only been born in October, but even I know it’s a stupid idea to have a Super Bowl in an outdoor venue where it could snow!
I can’t wait to see what the brain trust at the NFL will do if there’s a snow blizzard the day before or even during the big game! I’ve heard rumors that there may not be a half time show because the weather could be too cold.
How does this happen?! Do you mean to tell me there’s a room full of adults who all thought this would be a good idea? There wasn’t one person who said this could be a disaster?!
I have no teeth and can’t even crawl yet and I know this is a stupid idea. Perhaps the powers at the NFL headquarters have had a few too many concussions themselves.
If you believe the hashtag, #johnmayerisback!
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