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Jonathan Suttin

What does Jonathan have to say?

Posts from October 2012


View from the Crib
The other day my mom and dad took me to the doctor’s office for my two week check up.  So far it’s all systems go!  While we were waiting to go into see the doctor I noticed the latest copy of the Journal of Economic Psychology was out.  I know you don’t think a two week old baby is doing much reading, but one article caught my eye.  It was a study called “Just a Perfect Day: Developing a Happiness Optimized Day Schedule."
 
I may only be two weeks old, but I’m interested in achieving the perfect day.  The study surveyed 900 women and asked them how they would break down a perfect day.   Here’s what they came up with:
  • Intimate relations: 106 minutes
  • Socializing with friends: 82 minutes
  • Relaxing: 78 minutes
  • Prayer/meditation: 73 minutes
  • Eating: 75 minutes
  • Exercising: 68 minutes
  • Watching TV: 68 minutes
  • Shopping: 56 minutes
  • Cooking: 50 minutes
  • Talking in the phone: 57 minutes
  • Computer/Email/Internet: 48 minutes
  • Housework: 47 minutes
  • Napping: 46 minutes
  • Childcare: 46 minutes
  • Working: 36 minutes
  • Commuting: 33 minutes
I like some of their answers, but all these women are making life too complicated. 

33 minutes for commuting?!  My commute is from the crib to the changing table and that only takes about 60 seconds. 

36 minutes for work?!  I guess I work at leaving a surprise in my diaper for my parents, but that only takes about 2 minutes.

48 minutes on the computer?!  I’m not so sure that’s necessary.  I find starring off in the distance much more entertaining.

47 minutes of housework?  Please!  That’s why I have those two servants named mom and dad.

50 minutes of cooking?  Has anyone ever heard of breast milk?  It’s instantly ready and quite filling.

I’d write more, but I like to stick to my schedule which includes plenty of time for naps. 
Gotta go.
 
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View from the Crib
Jonathan has given up blogging.  However, his newborn son, Josh likes telling the world his views.  Josh will be blogging here until he runs out of things to talk about or learns how to crawl.
 

Hi Gang,

JHS here. My dad, Jonathan is still be pretty new at this fatherhood thing.  He hasn't figured out yet that cold hands will make me VERY unhappy when he's wiping my bottom.  However, even though he doesn't really know his way around a onesie, he did do one thing right.  He and mom came up with a good name for me.  Joshua Henry.

This came to my attention when I was surfing the net and discovered what actress Uma Thurman named her newborn daughter.  Have you read about this?!  Here's what People.com reported from Uma:

"I would like to announce Uma and Arki’s daughter’s name for the first time officially: Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson, better known to family and friends as Luna."

WTF, Uma?!  I understand your name is a little weird and I've been told David Letterman based all his material around your name when he hosted the Oscars several years ago.  But please give your kid a break. 

This reminds me of champion show dogs names.  If you ever meet someone who has a puppy that comes from a champion winning bitch,  (I know I'm a newborn, but I can use the b word when I'm talking about dogs) the name will be something like Ch. St. Margaret Mignificent of Clairedale.  However, that's a show dog not a child! 

Come on Uma!  Couldn't you just name your kid Sara or if you really wanted to go crazy follow Gwyneth Paltrow's lead.  Her daughter is named Apple.  You could have gone with Kumquat and called it a day.
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View from the Crib
Jonathan's newborn son Joshua is blogging for his old man.  Josh will at least continue blogging until the Presidential election or nap time.

I've already heard my mom and dad say, "If you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all."  However, I'd like to amend the statement to say, "If you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all...unless it's funny."

I have to pile on Mitt Romney for his "women in binders" comment during last night's debate.  I understand what he was trying to say, but he didn't say it right.   I wonder if Romney felt as embarrassed and uncomfortable as I did when I soiled my diaper the other day while meeting some neighbors?

I may be less then two weeks old, but I love the internet.  How did all of you people make fun of each other without it?  Here are some of my favorite images inspired by Romney.








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View from the Crib
Jonathan’s newborn son, Joshua has a lot to say about the new world he’s entered.  He will be the guest blogger here until he’s old enough to drive or it’s time to breast feed.
 
I may be only about a week old, but I think I may know more than the two men running for President.  Tonight President Obama and Governor Romney will be debating.   They’ll discuss healthcare, the deficit as well as issues in the Middle East.  Obama has one plan and Romney has another, but I personally think they’re both wrong. 

There’s one simple way to bring America back to greatness:

Grandparents.

It’s so easy.  Why don’t both these guys realize grandparents can solve ALL our problems?!  Both sets of grandparents came to visit me the other day and it was amazing.  I had grandmothers changing my diapers and grandfathers cradling me nonstop!

Can’t figure out how our country can get out of debt to China?  Grandparents!  One grandfather told me he would give me a nickel when I can lift my head up on my own!  A whole nickel!  That’s some serious money!

Wake up America!  Grandparents are the answer.
 
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View from the Crib
View from the Crib

Jonathan’s new born son Joshua is anxious to share his wisdom with the world.  He will be the blogger for this site for the next few years or until he needs a diaper change.

Hello world! 

To quote the Grateful Dead, “What a long strange trip it’s been.”  You probably already know this, but moving is totally a pain!  I was in a pretty sweet place the last nine months.  The temperature was perfect and I was constantly rocked to sleep.  I had great room service 24 hours a day and I was basically sleeping on a water bed.   As far as the bathroom, I didn’t even have to get up.

However, after nine months of slacking relaxing I realized it was time to make a change.   You may think I’m crazy.  Why leave a comfortable and safe environment for a cold, bright and cruel world?

We all have to make a change and some point, otherwise we don’t grow.  I know there will be plenty of rough things I have to deal with that I didn’t have to in my last location.  There will be people who are jerks and people who tell me I’m not good enough.  Gosh, there have already been plenty of cold wet naps on my bottom!  However, I know there will also be plenty of good times and amazing adventures.  I will never have those adventures if I continued to stay in the same place.

I’m curious.  Have you been in the same womb for too long?  Maybe it’s time for you to make a change as well.
 
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Maybe Next Year
I've been following baseball since I was about 11 years old.   I've always loved the game and since I'm a White Sox fan I haven't seen a lot of postseason baseball from my team.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.  I've enjoyed watching the team win or lose.  Of course, it's more enjoyable to watch them win, but I've always loved the game of baseball more than any other sport.

2005 was a magical year because the White Sox won their first World Series in 88 years.  They've had some decent seasons since then, but nothing really for the history books.  Until this year...or so I thought. 

This season the team's official slogan was:  Appreicate the game.  To me that meant: We're not going to be very good, but come to the park anyway.  There were not high expectations for this year's club.  Most experts expected them to win about 70 to 75 games and finish in third or fouth place.

That's not what happened.  The Sox suprised everyone (maybe even themselves) and led the American League Central Division for about 117 days of the season.  In fact, it looked as if the team was destined for the playoffs.  With just 16 games left, they had a three game lead over the Detroit Tigers.  Basically all the Sox had to do was play .500 baseball and they would be in the playoffs.

They didn't.  The team fell apart and the Tigers (the team most experts thought would win the division) ended up as AL Central Champs.

In the past I would have been devastated.  I'll admit it stings a bit that they came so close, but didn't make it.  However, I have a better October surprise as my wife, Lindsay and I are expecting our first child.

I wonder if the fact that I'm about to have a son or daughter is putting baseball in perspective? 
Probably not.  One of the gifts Lindsay and I received is a mini-White Sox jersey.  You bet baby will be wearing it soon!
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