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Jonathan Suttin

What does Jonathan have to say?

Posts from August 2012


Untangle the Web
This Sunday we’ve been asked to skip the internet.  A group called The Reconnect Project wants everyone to avoid the internet completely.  In fact, they’re asking everyone to even give up mobile phones for the day too.

So what are we supposed to do?
 
Live.

The Reconnect Project wants you to paint, dance, sing and visit with friends face to face.  All of this sounds great, BUT I’m disappointed in what Reconnect wants you to do the day after.
They want you to go crazy on the internet.  The group hopes everyone will share all their experiences on the World Wide Web.

Doesn’t that defeat the purpose?  It’s like asking someone to eat healthy for a day and then gather with friends the next day at a fast food restaurant to talk about the salad eaten the day before.
 
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Lion King Rises
I’m a little behind the times on this one, but I must share it with you because it’s fantastic.   Someone took the time to take the audio from the trailer to the Batman movie Dark Knight Rises and mix it with video from The Lion King.
I learned a couple of things after seeing this trailer:
  1. There are some very talented video editors out there
  2. There are some very talented video editors who way too much free time
 
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Wedding Photo Blue...Not Really
Earlier this week I heard about a new kind of wedding photo  that sounded too bad to be true. 

According to a story in the New York Daily News, couples are starting to get MORNING AFTER wedding photos. 

Does anyone really want or need to see this?!   Do you put the pictures on your wedding photo album?!  What happens when Grandma is flipping through the album on Thansgiving?!

Thankfully the story was created by a single wedding photographer who was trying to get some coverage.  It worked as the story has been told by many different media outlets.  Hopefully, it won't really catch on. 
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Wait a Minute Mr. Postman
This past weekend the brain trust at the adult film company Vivid Entertainment wrote a letter to Prince Harry offering him 10 million dollars to make a porno.  The company thought Harry might be interested after his well documented naked party occurred in Las Vegas. 

I have many questions.

First, how is Vivid Entertainment still in business?  It seems like most of their clientele would be able to find all they need for free on the World Wide Web.
  
Okay, I’ll accept there are still people stupid enough to buy porn, but let’s get back to the letter.  Where do you send a letter like that to a prince?  Do you just address the envelope “Prince Harry c/o The Royal Palace”?  Will he really ever see that letter?

And finally, they’re offering Harry 10 million dollars.
 
Really?!

Do they think 10 million will really entice a member of the British Royal Family? 

Perhaps the gang at Vivid just wanted to be talked about for a few minutes.  If that’s the case, mission accomplished.   
 
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Topics: Human Interest
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Locations: Las Vegas
People: HarryPostman


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Blue Monday Not So Blue
A little tired this morning?  Moving slowly?  Don’t feel like working?  Are you in a bad mood?  All those things seem like they could be blamed on a case of the Mondays, right?

Wrong.

A study just published says there’s really no such thing as a case of the Mondays. 

What?!  Have I just been a bad mood every Monday for no reason?

The study says we actually feel about the same on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.  We’re in good moods on Fridays and both days of the weekend. 

This discovery is disappointing.  I’ve always thought the breakdown of the work week went like this:

Monday: Tired, grumpy, unproductive

Tuesday: Acceptance, pleasant, productive

Wednesday: Slightly fatigued but slightly motivated because it’s “Hump Day”

Thursday: Excited and distracted because it’s “Friday Eve”

Friday: Unproductive because it’s almost the weekend, but in a good mood.

Saturday & Sunday: Happy, happy, happy

According to my theory, the best work day of the week is Tuesday because we realize we’re trapped in the work week so we might as well do some work.  According to the study, my theory is bunk.  So I guess we'll have to blame our unproductive ways on something else. 


 
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Move over Bikini
I hope this trend doesn’t make it to the United States.  In China, “face-kinis” are all the rage. 
Yes, a face-kini.



 
 
I understand protection from the sun is important, but how about just getting some suntan lotion with an SPF of 900?!

These rather creepy masks were introduced about 7 years ago and now people are buying them like crazy.  What if this really starts to catch on?!  What if the models from the coveted Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition start wearing them?!  This could deny an entire generation of young man the greatest gift that magazine provides each year!

Each time I look at the face-kini it reminds me of the gimp from Pulp Fiction!

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Life Laugh
Please try to laugh today.  It might extend your life.  On Monday night I was listening to a story on NPR about the life of Phyllis Diller.  As you probably know, she passed away on Monday at the age of 95.
 
There were two very interesting things about the interview that stuck in my head.  First of all, she didn’t even get into comedy until she was 37.  She was the mother of five and got into the business because her husband was having a hard time keeping a job.  This reminded me of the story of Rodney Dangerfield.  He also did not get into comedy until his early 40s.  Both Diller and Dangerfield are good reminders that it’s never too late to give up on your dreams.   
 
Secondly, Diller said in an interview a few years ago that laughing helps you live longer.  Is it scientifically proven?  Probably not, but she referenced Bob Hope, George Burns and Milton Berle as her proof.
 
I think I’ll try to laugh a little more today.
 
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What the Hell?
Did you hear the story about the Oklahoma girl who was first in her class at Prague High School, but is not getting her diploma because of a single word she said during her graduation speech.

The word?

Hell.

That's it.   Pubilshed reports say Kaitlin Nootbaar was talking about her future and how so many people were asking her what she wants to do with her life.  In the speech she said, "How the hell do I know?"

Apparently she has to write an apology for her offense in order to get her dipolma.

The best part of the story, Prague High School's mascot is a Red Devil

No joke.

What the hell?!

 
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Topics: EducationHuman Interest
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Locations: Oklahoma
People: Kaitlin Nootbaar


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The Skinny on Dipping
Loosen up.  That’s what I have to say to Republicans who are upset one of their own went skinny dipping in the Sea of Galilee in Israel.  The story about Congressman Kevin Yoder was first reported by Politico
 
Apparently a group of Republicans were in Israel last summer meeting with both Israeli and Palestinian officials.  Late night the Republican group had a few cocktails and went swimming in the spot where the Bible says Jesus walked on water.
 
According to the story, Yoder jumped into the water wearing his birthday suit.  Big deal.  His wife was even there! 
 
Not only has he had to apologize to his constituents and colleagues for embarrassing them, but the FBI is looking into the matter.  Really?!
 
Has no one in Congress ever gone to overnight camp?  It’s not like he walked into the Knesset totally nude and starting telling bad Israeli and Palestinian jokes.
 
Syrians are being killed in the streets by their own government, our environment is in trouble, the world economy is still on the verge of breakdown and we’re concerned about a quick swim in the nude?
 
 
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Topics: Politics
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People: Kevin Yoder


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Find Your Baxter
Back in 2008, I was not in the best place.  Sure my job was great, but my personal life needed some serious improvement.  One Saturday morning I decided to go to Dane County Humane Society and find a new friend.  I remember walking in and being interviewed by several cats in the meeting room.  Dane County Humane Society has small rooms where cats can meet their potential servant  companion to see if the relationship will work.
 
I met several cats, but I didn’t click with any of them.  Some seemed too demanding while others were too neurotic.  I was about ready to give up when I went into the shelter’s gift shop.  There was a cat “working” in the shop.  The people at the shelter said he was pretty social and let him wander a little more.  We instantly connected and Baxter came home with me.
 
My life was upgraded immediately as I enjoyed having the company and the responsibility.  It was also amazing how Baxter was interested in watching Chicago White Sox and Bears games with me.  He never asked to switch the channel.  He also remarkably has the same taste in music as I do!
 
When my then girlfriend now wife, Lindsay first moved to Madison, she was not very excited about a cat being in the picture.  I told her to give him a week and if she didn’t like him we would discuss the next step. 
 
It only took Baxter a day to win her over.  Now I think she loves the cat more than she loves me.
 
Catapalooza starts today at Dane County Humane Society.  It’s a chance for you to find your new friend.  There’s even reduced adoption fees.  Tonight will be family fun night which includes music, dancing, games, prizes, food and more importantly cats looking for homes.
 
Catapalooza starts today at noon and ends tomorrow at 5pm.  Find your Baxter at Dane County Humane Society.
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Topics: Human InterestSocial Issues
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Odd Jobs
I just read an article about jobs the rich and famous had before they were rich and famous.  I don’t know why I find these stories so fascinating, but I always do.  Of course, the rich and famous are going to have everyday jobs when they were really young, but it’s still fun to examine and imagine the person working the job than as we know them now.
 
Here’s a list:
Oprah had a job as a grocery store clerk when she was very young.  Can you imagine her being as excited for that job as she is on television?  I can almost hear shouting in her excited Oprah voice to the customer, “Paper or plastic?!”  I wonder if a she ever got any customers to have a good cry or even jump up a la Tom Cruise style on to the counter?



Barack Obama’s first job was scooping ice cream at Baskin Robbins.  I wonder if when customers ordered vanilla he asked if they really wanted to embrace change and go with the Rocky Road?



Comedian Chris Rock was a busboy at Red Lobster.  Probably all the best jokes he made there were only heard by the dirty dishes.




Madonna worked at a Dunkin Donuts in New York City’s Times Square.  Do you think she tried to wear some of the donuts on her chest?

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Why We Should Love Space
Sometimes I wonder why we really spend all that money to go into space and then I remember we’re hopefully a thoughtfully and curious nation.  Often times it doesn’t feel that way. The brilliant minds at someecards put it best when releasing this graphic last week:


 
 
Business Insider recently published a great list of things we have because of NASA and space exploration.  It includes things like artificial limbs, baby formula, computer mouse, cordless tools, better golf clubs, firefighting gear, ear thermometers, long-distance communication and ski boots.
 
So the next time you think NASA is wasting our taxpayer money on a dumb mission, you should actually be thanking them for making your life a lot better.  Now if we could just figure out a way to invent stuff from the trillions we spend on wars.
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New Start
Penn State will have an adjustment in their football uniforms this season for the first time in almost 60 years.   The players will wear a blue ribbon on their jerseys in support of child abuse victims.  The jerseys will also feature each players name on the back.  Most colleges already put names on the back of the jersey, but Penn State didn’t.  Former coach Joe Paterno used to say he didn’t want anyone on his team to stand out.  New coach Bill O’Brien says he wants all players to be accountable for their actions.
 
I think this is a good move.  O’Brien should create a completely new image for the team immediately and a uniform change is a good first step.  Although I've always thought the lion logo is cool, they need to create a brand new one. The new logo should go on the helmet as well.  All the money raised by people buying the new logo should also go to child abuse organizations.
 
Changing uniform or logo doesn’t help heal a community from all the horrible things that happened there, but it's a start.  Penn State students, faculty and alumni are all still in a state of shock.  Imagine if something you respected was suddenly destroyed because it failed miserably and caused unspeakable harm to others.  We shouldn't hate Penn State fans, players and alumni who are ready to move forward and stop defending Paterno.
 

If the Penn State family truly loves the school, they must start over and change everything.  The only the thing they should remember from the past is all those sexually abused children so no one there every repeats such horrible acts.
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Topics: Sports
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Guitar Day Favorite
When I was in college here at the University of Wisconsin, one of my roommates wanted to go see Stanley Jordan perform.
 
Stanley who?
 
He told me I would love the show.  I was a bit skeptical, but decided to go.  He was right because the show was fantastic and Jordan was mesmerizing.  He’s still around, but keeps a rather low profile.  I’m sure many of you will find his music a little too boring, but for someone who’s a James Taylor fan like me it’s right up your alley.
 
Here are a couple of songs performed by Jordan.  Since we’re celebrating the anniversary of the 60th anniversary of the Gibson Les Paul guitar, I thought this first video of Les and Stanley playing together would be appropriate.  The second video is Jordan's incredible cover of Stairway to Heaven. He actually plays two guitars at once near the end of the song!
 
Enjoy.
 
 
 
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Topics: Entertainment_Culture
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Locations: Wisconsin
People: Stanley Jordan


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Sound of Summer Fading
It’s been a long season for the Milwaukee Brewers and most of you are thrilled the Green Bay Packers played a preseason game last night. I’m a Chicago Bears fan and they also had a preseason game last night. 
 
I am not excited.
 
It’s not because I live in Packer nation and fear the Green and Gold will go 16 and 0 this season and as a Bears fan on foreign soil I will be ridiculed for the next few months.
 
It’s simply because this is yet another sign summer is winding down.  Yes, it’s been a LONG HOT summer and I know fall in Wisconsin is delightful.    However, the start of football even if its just preseason makes me ask a few questions every year.
 
Did I go swimming enough?
 
Did I ride my bike enough?
 
Did I go to the farmer’s market as many times as I wanted to?
 
Did I picnic enough?
 
Did I sit with my wife outside and watch the sunset?
 
Did I wait in line with a bunch of kids for a cool treat from the ice cream truck?
 
Did I run through at least one person’s sprinkler?
 
Did I ride in someone’s convertible?
 
There’s still time, but the sounds of helmets crashing reminds me there’s not as much time as I thought.
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Topics: Sports
Locations: PackerWisconsin


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Dead On
Once again life imitates art or in this case comedy.  Researchers at the University of Georgia just released a study finding outdoor cats are very busy killing things in the night.  The researchers put kittycams on several felines and found that cats ate about 30 percent of their kills, brought home another 25 percent and left 49 percent of their prey to rot away.  They even broke down what the cats are killing: Lizards, snakes and frogs (41 percent); chipmunks and vols (25 percent); insects and worms (20 percent) and birds (12 percent).

This is all great information, but the researchers could have simply looked at the headline SIX YEARS AGO from one of my favorite publications, The Onion.  Here it is…


 
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Topics: Environment
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Locations: Georgia


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Lincoln-Like
I can’t wait for the new movie about Abraham Lincoln.  I actually didn’t know about the movie until this morning, but now I can’t wait for one reason: Daniel Day-Lewis.



Day-Lewis is known for throwing himself completely into his roles and it looks as if this is no exception.  The film is directed by Steven Spielberg which should also make it a winner.  Lincoln will be released just three days after the 2012 election.   
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Cat-tastic!
I need a pair of these...
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Paid To Do Nothing
In my next life, I’d love to be an executive for a company.  I know there are a lot of headaches being responsible for a multi-billion dollar corporation, but it seems like it would be worth it.  Did you hear about General Electric executive John Krenicki?  He’s retiring from GE, but the company is afraid he might want to take a job somewhere else so they’re paying him $89,000…a month…for 10 years.

Yes, 89k a month for 10 years!!!

Officials at GE say it’s “a generous severance package in exchange for a noncompete agreement.”
That’s pretty awesome considering most of the people I know who have to sign a noncompete agreement can be fired from their job for no reason and aren’t allowed to work in the same field for a full year and don’t receive any compensation.

I guess your worth whatever people want to pay you.  I just have to figure out how to get the people who pay me to think I’m worth $89,000 a month for ten years to not work.
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Food to Die For
The United States has just added a new weapon to its arsenal in the fight against evil in the world.  Sure we’ve used drone missiles to attack our enemies, but we’re about to unleash something so sinister I’m starting to wonder if we’ll receive complaints on the world stage for being inhumane.
 
Drum roll please…
 
During the next four years in Libya, Cinnabon stores will be opening!
 
Yes, that deadly but delicious treat that makes us all overweight will be in Tripoli soon. The poor people of Libya!  They thought it was tough under the iron fist of Muammar Gaddafi?  How will they resist the thick gooey frosting of a Cinnabon?
 
Soon they will become more sluggish and demand more fast food.  What horrible thing will we release on the Libyans next?   My guess Arby’s, Hardee’s or perhaps a Double Down Sandwich from KFC.
 
 
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Topics: Hospitality_Recreation
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Locations: Tripoli


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Chick-fil-A-Gay?
I’m going to throw my chicken wing into the Chick-fil-A controversy.  First of all, I believe same sex marriage should be recognized.  I’ve never really understood how two people of the same sex in a committed relationship will hurt the sanctity of marriage.   Doesn't Larry King’s eight marriages or Elizabeth Taylor’s seven marriages or Rush Limbaugh’s four marriages or television shows like “The Bachelor” or “Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire” completely destroying marriage?

As far as Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy taking a stand on the issue publicly, I have one question: Why?  I don’t share all the same beliefs as my co-workers, but I don’t walk around the office talking about it.  Did we used to know all the political and religious beliefs of the CEO of companies?  Also does Cathy not want customers who don’t have the same beliefs as he does?   If that’s the case, we’re really going to become a divided nation.  Can you imagine not being served at a restaurant because you don’t have the same religious and political views as the owner?!

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Sound of Summer
I know there have already been Back to School ads in the newspaper and I know the days are getting shorter, but the true sign that summer is winding down happens tonight.

This evening is the final Concerts on the Square with the Wisconsin Chamber Orchestra.  Sure, there are only 6 concerts total, but these concerts really define summer in Madison.

Whether you sit near the orchestra and pay attention to every note or you sit on the fringes of the Capitol and talk to your friends more than listen to the music, it’s a great summer tradition.

So why not head down to the Capitol tonight and enjoy a little bit of summer before it’s gone?  Better yet, ride your bike.
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I think my heart may have stopped beating
Dear Superstars, During last night's elimination I think my heart may have stopped beating and that would've been it's own "drive-by heartache." This competition is tough but I'm very proud for making it through the first challenge. My level of...
Read More
Songs for Tax Day
So I learned today that if you're getting a refund, there's no penalty for not getting your taxes in by today's deadline. But why would you want the government to keep your money any longer than they already do? With that question in mind...
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'Blood Moon' not as scary as it sounds. ~Stevi
Were you able to catch the 'blood moon' last night? It was a beautiful spectical presented by nature and the atmosphere that caused the moon to change color, ranging from bright orange to blood red. Not sure what it means or why it's such a...
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Believe In The Possibilities Of The Impossible
Dear Superstars, This is a quick love letter to all of you supporting me during the Project M competition. The response from "Light Blue Sweater" last week was huge and I hope I can make a big splash with "Drive-By Heartache." It means more to me...
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Blood Moon: reason to stay up late, or end of the world?
There's a preacher in Texas who's a little freaked out about tonight's lunar eclipse, and the three that follow every six months over the next two years. He thinks it's a signal of the end of the world!, and has even written a book...
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Bully gets taste of his own medicine. ~Stevi
This. Is. Amazing: After terrorzing a family with disabled children, a judge sentences a man to hold a sign which read "I am a bully I pick on children..." The man says the sentence "ruined my life". I say, lesson learned. Hopefully, the justice...
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Nirvana enters the Rock n' Roll Hall Of Fame in a big way ~Stevi
The surviving members of Nirvana (Dave Grohl and Christ Novoselic) stole the show at last night's Rock n' Roll Hall Of Fame induction ceremony. It was great to see how close the two musicians are. Especially considering their fellow inducties...
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Getting The Creative Juices Flowing
This Monday was great! Everyone is so talented and the styles are so different. I tried really hard to write a song that was upbeat and fun and to be honest it was a little out of my comfort zone, which is EXACTLY why I am doing this competition: to...
Read More
 
Recent Blog Posts
I think my heart may have stopped beating
Dear Superstars, During last night's elimination I think my heart may have stopped beating and that would've been it's own "drive-by heartache." This competition is tough but I'm very proud for making it through the first challenge. My level of...
Read More
Songs for Tax Day
So I learned today that if you're getting a refund, there's no penalty for not getting your taxes in by today's deadline. But why would you want the government to keep your money any longer than they already do? With that question in mind...
Read More
'Blood Moon' not as scary as it sounds. ~Stevi
Were you able to catch the 'blood moon' last night? It was a beautiful spectical presented by nature and the atmosphere that caused the moon to change color, ranging from bright orange to blood red. Not sure what it means or why it's such a...
Read More
Believe In The Possibilities Of The Impossible
Dear Superstars, This is a quick love letter to all of you supporting me during the Project M competition. The response from "Light Blue Sweater" last week was huge and I hope I can make a big splash with "Drive-By Heartache." It means more to me...
Read More
Blood Moon: reason to stay up late, or end of the world?
There's a preacher in Texas who's a little freaked out about tonight's lunar eclipse, and the three that follow every six months over the next two years. He thinks it's a signal of the end of the world!, and has even written a book...
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This. Is. Amazing: After terrorzing a family with disabled children, a judge sentences a man to hold a sign which read "I am a bully I pick on children..." The man says the sentence "ruined my life". I say, lesson learned. Hopefully, the justice...
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