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Jonathan Suttin

What does Jonathan have to say?

Posts from June 2012


Health Care Debate Shows We're Sick
Yesterday both CNN and Fox News ran into some problems reporting the Supreme Court’s decision on President Obama’s health care plan.  They got it wrong.

Why?

Is it because reading a ruling from the Supreme Court is probably a little tricky?

Is it because we live in a society where ALL INFORMATION MUST BE DISTRIBUTED IMMEDIATELY IF NOT SOONER?

I bet it’s a combination of both things.  These days it’s harder and harder to pay attention for more than 142 characters in a Tweet.  We want the information now, but we really don’t want many details.  

I find it happening to me.  A few days ago I was reading a short sports story about the White Sox and found myself drifting after the first few paragraphs.

This is rather scary.

We want information so quickly, but we don't want too much of it.  That's dangerous.  With all the misinformation floating around on Facebook, I feel like we don't really get the whole story anymore.  Think about how many times you've seen a chart or graph on Facebook that simplifies a rather complex subject.  Many people see the simple and often times incorrect information and take it as fact.  They don't do an additional research. 

The health care debate is a lot more then: Obama is giving help to freeloaders or Republicans hate poor people.    Sadly, it seems like that's what it's reduced to.

I think I’m going to try an experiment this weekend.  I’m going to pick up a copy of the New York Times and actually try to read several articles from start to finish.

They still print The New York Times, right?
 
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I Can't Wait
I must start this blog telling you one of my new favorite movies is Moonrise Kingdom by Wes Anderson.  It is truly an amazing film and has made my personal all time top 10 list.

I’m telling you about Moonrise Kingdom for two reasons.  First, I really think it’s a great film.  Secondly, I don’t want you to think I’m an idiot when you read this next sentence.

I can’t wait to see the new movie Ted.

Have you heard about this one?

This movie is a total home run in my world. First of all, it stars Mark Wahlberg.  I want to be friends with him. Secondly, it stars Mila Kunis.  What guy wouldn’t want to be friends with her?!
Third, it stars a talking teddy bear named Ted. I still own a teddy bear named Teddy.  Granted he’s stored deep in a closet somewhere in my house, but I still have him.

The creator of Family Guy, Seth McFarlane wrote this movie (I can’t really call it a film).   It’s about a kid who wishes his teddy bear would come to life.  The bear comes to life and the two continue to hang out into adulthood. 

It’s silly and most likely filled with bad dirty jokes, but I still can’t wait to see it.  Don’t judge me.

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Thanks Nora
The other day I was in the grocery store and Don Henley’s “Dirty Laundry” was playing.  Another customer walked by me and was singing along:

I could be an actor but I wound up here.
I just have to look good.
I don’t have to be clear.
Come and whisper in my ear.
Give us dirty laundry.


It’s a great song and great commentary by Henley on tabloid journalism.  So what the heck does this have to do with writer Nora Ephron passing away?  It’s simple.  Good writing stays with you.  That guy in the grocery store knew the words because it’s good.

I can’t say I’ve memorized all the lines to Ms. Ephron’s movies, but I can say her movies have definitely stayed with me long after I left the theatre.   After I saw the movie “When Harry Met Sally” the audience applauded. You know it’s a good movie when an audience cheers even though all those involved in the film can’t hear it.

Ephron wrote many films including “Sleepless in Seattle”, “Julie and Julia”, “You’ve Got Mail” and “Michael”. 

Every time I would see an Ephron film, I pictured her writing these clever stories from her home somewhere in New York City.    I had no idea she had been married to Carl Bernstein (Woodward and Bernstein fame) or that she had written a number of plays.

I did know that her stories made me think about relationships and how to make them better.  The end of “When Harry Met Sally” where Billy Crystal finally tells Meg Ryan they should be together still gives me chills:

“I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

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Monster Mistake
Soon we will be a nation of morons.  Apparently kids at Eternity Christian Academy in Westlake, Louisana (cue the banjo music from Deliverance) will be taught the Loch Ness Monster exists.

One news report says the sea monster is being used to debunk the theory of evolution.  The Herald Scotland even has a passage from a textbook being used by the school.  It reads, “Are dinosaurs alive today?  Scientists are becoming more convinced of their existence. Have you heard of the 'Loch Ness Monster' in Scotland? 'Nessie' for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine, described by eyewitnesses, and photographed by others. Nessie appears to be a plesiosaur."

Awesome.

However, I don’t think they go far enough.  How about adding these facts to the lesson plan to help kids understand the world.

Bigfoot not only wanders the forest, but he’s a big fan of the Oakland Raiders.  You can seem him in the stands most Sundays. Here is a photo of Bigfoot taking a "break" at a game.




















The Chupacabra aka Goat Sucker is actually the main character on a television show on NBC called The Apprentice where he tells people “You’re fired.”
Donald Trump aka Chupacabra firing someone on The Apprentice



















The tooth fairy is actually U.S. Congressman Paul Ryan demonstrating how universal dental care should be administered here.

U.S. Congressman Paul Ryan after a busy night.
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Call of Duty
I guess if you have a lot of money, you can pretty much get away with anything.  No, I’m not talking about O.J. Simpson.  This is far less serious, but it does involve a football player.
 
Did you hear about the romantic way Chad Ochocinco proposed to his girlfriend?  According to his girlfriend Evelyn Lozada it was quite simple and not very romantic.   She’s the former wife of NBA star Antione Walker and is on a show called Basketball Wives, which thankfully I never heard of until reading a story about this proposal on Yahoo.com this morning.
 
In the story, Lozada says a jeweler came to their place with a lot of different pieces.  Chad was playing the video game Call of Duty and he asked her to pick out something she liked.  She saw a ring and tried it on.  He then informed her they were now engaged.
 
Doesn’t it bring a tear to your eye?  Think about all the planning he had to do for that!  He had to have one of his assistance call a private jeweler and he had to actually take a split second and interrupt his game of Call of Duty to announce they were engaged.
 
They’re getting married in a couple of weeks.  This proves if you have money, you can act like the biggest a-hole and many women will just go with it.  I’m sure there are some woman, I think my wife being one of them, who would not put up with something as ridiculous as that type of proposal.  Then again, I’m guessing Ms. Lozada is about as deep as the rain puddle forms at the end of my driveway after a good rainfall.
 
What do you think the wedding will be like?  Will Chad be playing an awesome round of Grand Theft Auto during the vows?
 
Congratulations and may your wonderful marriage last at least as long as a few rounds of the game HALO.
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Time is Money
If you had a few extra bucks, what would you spend it on? 
 
Before you answer, keep in mind I don’t want it to be anything practical.  It should be something frivolous.
 
Come up with anything?
 
Here are some of my suggestions with the pros and cons included:
 
  1. A giant swimming pool filled with chocolate pudding.  Pro: Delicious.  Con: Mom always said you should wait a half hour before swimming. Therefore I’ve created a catch 22.
  2. Build a casino with chimpanzees as the dealers.  Pro: I think chimps have the bad habit of hitting on 19 in Blackjack.  Cons: They might throw feces when they lose.
  3. Have the Victoria Secret fashion show take place in your living room.  Pro: Super models are walking through your living room in lingerie. Con: They probably still won’t talk to you.
  4. Buy a Bugatti Veyron sports car.  Pro: You own one of the most high-end sports car ever made.  Con: Simon Cowell owns one and do you really want to have something in common with that d-bag?
 
The reason I’m even bringing this ridiculous topic? Jeff Bezos (the creator of Amazon.com) is having a giant grandfather clock built on the side of a mountain in West Texas.   It will cost $42 million.  Bezos is worth about $18 billion so it's like you or me splurging on a new sofa for the living room. This story comes from the Wall Street Journal, which says Bezos is calling it the "10,000 Year Clock."   
 
A few questions come to mind.  First, will he be able to return it if it doesn’t run for 10-thousand years?  Second, doesn’t he have a wristwatch or at least a clock on his phone?
 
 
 
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Lamb(asted)
Okay this video is cute, but how long until this adorable little lamb turns into a big smelly sheep and starts crapping all over the house?!  Why didn't they just buy a hampster, cat, dog, or even a ferret? 

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What a Baby!
Today I saw a guy running with his baby in one of those baby jogger strollers.

Really? 

As I drove by, I looked at the outside temperature gage on my car.  Granted it didn’t say the temperature was “surface of the sun” hot, but it did say 94 degrees.  Why does anyone think going for a run in 90 plus temperatures is good for the human body?  And more importantly is it really that great for the baby in the stroller?
 
I understand exercise is important, but sometimes I wonder if people are actually doing more harm than good.  Yes, it’s good to go running, but should I do it with broken glass in my shoes?  I know weather conditions will not always be perfect. Many years ago I ran the Houston Marathon and the temperature was below freezing.  It was actually sleeting, which is considered the end of the world for most Houstonians. I ran the marathon, but that’s because I trained for eight months. If that morning would have been a practice run, I would have skipped it in a heartbeat.
 
Perhaps the runner I saw today was actually running away from a lion or tiger that had escaped from the Vilas Zoo.  If that was the case, I understand completely.  If not, he should have taken the day off.
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