Each Thursday Lindsay and I play trivia with a group of friends at a local bar. Two of our friends are moving away so it was the last night they would be playing with the team. We wanted to send them out with a victory and we were tied for first for the final question! The final question is worth up to 15 points. You can bet zero if the question seems too hard. Here’s the catch, if you get it wrong you lose the amount of points you bet.
Here’s the question:
Put these events in order of when they happened:
PG-13 becomes an official rating for movies
Pan Am Flight 103 is shot down over Lockerbie, Scotland
Wrestle Mania begins
IBM introduces the personal computer
Yikes!
The only clue was that all these events happened in the 1980s. Are you kidding me?! We all started to panic because we really wanted to win this week to send Jen and Ryan off in style. We finally decided to risk zero points. This could be bad because a team behind us could leap frog us into first with a correct answer.
In the end, no one got the question correct! We won. We admit it was sort of like taking a knee at the end of a football game, but a win is a win!
We all know texting while driving is dangerous, but the French have decided to up the stakes. There’s now a product called The Handpresso Auto. It plugs into a car's cigarette lighter and delivers up a steaming cup of espresso. All you have to do is add water and insert a pod of coffee grounds. What could be better? Why not have a scalding hot cup of coffee being brewed while you drive!? Kitty and I were discussing it this morning on the air and she suggested a waffle maker next. I love it. Soon we’ll have a fruit and cereal bar in the glove compartment. I can’t wait!
I know Mitt Romney is rich, but sometimes I foget how rich. He's building a new vacation home in San Diego. Okay, that's cool. It has a four car garage. Okay, I'm jealous he has a four car garage, but no big deal. However, the house has an elevator...for the cars.
Seriously?
Yes. Romney's home has an elevator for the cars!!! I think this story is going to make it hard for the voters to relate to him.
How can he relate this to the common man? Maybe he can talk about how elevator rides can be awkward with strangers. However, it would sound a little different.
Mitt: "You know how riding in an elevator with someone you don't know can be uncomfortable?"
Common man: "Yes. I never know what to talk about."
Mitt: "Usually I just roll up my window so I don't have to talk to the other person."
Common man: "Roll up the window? What are you talking about?"
Mitt: "What's the problem? If I'm my Mercedes Benz is parked next to someone in a rather sketchy car like a Ford Taurus. I simply roll up the windows."
Common man: "Are you serious?"
Mitt: "Yeah. Why? What do you do when there's someone who is being unruly in a car elevator?"
Common man: In a sarcastic voice: "I just don't give them any of my Grey Poupon."
Forbes has come out with a list of the 10 happiest jobs in America. Some of the top ten are surprising to me.
For example, customer service representative comes in at number 7. I try to be nice to customer service reps, but let's be honest. By the time you actually get a live human on the phone, you're often times pretty ticked off about the product you're calling about.
Another shocker is property manager which comes in a tie for second place! I think of all the complaints we've made to the building manager here at Triple M. We complain that it's too hot then it's too cold and then we don't like the lighting or the type of toliet paper offered.
Coming in at number one for the happiest job in America is (drum roll, please) software quality assurance engineer. Seriously?! I think that's our IT guy. I can't imagine he likes his job because every day he's surrounded by boobs like me who freak out the minute a computer doesn't do exactly what is needed IMMEDIATELY.
Actually, a software quality assurance engineer makes sure software is working before it gets released to the masses. I guess that could be a good job especially if the job requires the testing of games like Angry BIrds.
Cat-tastic by Jonathan's Jabberings,posted Mar 22 2012 5:38PM
I love cats (and dogs). I love clever commercials. I go crazy for commercials that are clever and use either a cat or dog. Therefore, this commercial is a grandslam!
Comedian Chris Rock is going to induct the Red Hot Chili Peppers on April 14th into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I’m not sure why or how Rock was selected, but it should be amusing.
Apparently, Rock has been a friend of the California based band for quite some time. I wonder if Rock will throw in a little stand-up comedy into the speech?
Forget Typing by Jonathan's Jabberings,posted Mar 20 2012 10:43AM
I’m still getting used to my new super smart phone and now I’m starting to become a little afraid of it. Yesterday I was introduced to Swype.
Don’t know what it is? Don’t worry. I had no idea either.
Swype is the new way to type. Instead of touch each letter on the tiny screen, you simple run your finger along the letters and the phone figures out what word you are typing. It’s very strange and I almost couldn’t do it the first day. However, things were a little easier this morning. What’s going to happen when we have an entire generation of kids who simply Swype instead of type?
What’s next? Will we simply think of the words in our minds and the computer will type them.
Will the current QWERTY keyboard go away?
While it’s still here I’m going to do some old school practicing. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dogs. Ahhh. That felt good.
Today Apple decided to take its 98 billion dollar pile of CASH and give it back to its share holders in the form of a dividend and share buyback program.
BORING!
Do you realize how much money 98 BILLION can buy? One news report says Apple could have spent the money buying Target, Macy’s, Best Buy and Costco. If they weren’t interested in retail, they could have spent the money buying Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs. If they wanted to stay away from banking, they could have purchased Ford and GM and still had about 11 billion left over.
We all knew they weren’t going to buy other companies, but would it have been so terrible to spend a little of the money on something comical? Why not buy everyone in United States a t-shirt that says something like “I’m with Stupid”? How about buying everyone a copy of the game Jenga?
It’s seems almost impossible to imagine 98 billion let alone to know what to do with the money, but here’s a sobering thought. I don’t know if it’s really true, but I’ve seen news story stating the war in Iraq cost the U.S. government 1 billion dollars a day. So that means all the money at Apple would only buy a little over three months of the war.
Do you remember when we all watched a television show together? When I was a kid, we all found out who shot J.R. at the same time. There was something special about actually watching show while they were happening. Now I catch Saturday Night Live on Monday afternoons. I have several friends who have not watched any of The Office this season. In the past, you'd be out of luck. Now you've got plenty of time to watch it whenever.
It's fantastic, but now these shows are no longer a shared experience. At least not right away. I have a friend who has not seen any of The Walking Dead on AMC, but he plans on starting the series soon. I can't wait to talk to him about it in about a year.
The folks at College Humor have come up with some good rules when it comes to watching and talking about shows.
New Phone Old Dog by Jonathan's Jabberings,posted Mar 13 2012 12:25PM
When I was a kid the Atari 1600 was a popular video game system. I remember my dad not being very good at any of the games. One that was especially hard for my dad was Superman. The graphics were very primitive. Basically you would fly around and capture the bad guys and throw them into a jail. This was totally lo-tech compared to what’s out there today.
My dad could never really get it down and I always wondered why it was so hard. He used to complain that there were no directions for the game. I didn’t really understand why he needed them. “Just fly around and pick up the bad guys,” I would tell him. I would also make fun of him for not being able to figure it out.
Now I think I understand. I’m currently attempting to switch from a Blackberry phone to an Android phone and I’m losing my mind. I was excited to try a new phone that has thousands of apps AND do my laundry AND make me breakfast.
Forget figuring out how to get this phone to drive me to work, I can’t even figure out how to get all my different e-mail icons on the same page. After about a half hour of frustration, I started looking for an instruction booklet. All that was provided was a leaflet. I asked some young hipsters in my office why there was no instruction booklet. I got the same answer, “What do you mean? It’s all intuitive. “
Now I know how my dad felt all those years ago. I think I’ll call him this afternoon to apologize. Of course, I’ll call from a landline.
As soon as I heard the rumors of Peyton Manning leaving the Indianapolis Colts, I immediately thought of the cartoon Calvin and Hobbes. It may sounds strange, but there’s a Sunday Calvin and Hobbes strip that I have at my desk that fits this situation perfectly.
As you probably know, Peyton Manning has made the Indianapolis Colts a winning team. He’s one of the best quarterbacks to ever play the game. He led the Colts to a Super Bowl championship against my beloved Bears, he is classy and doesn’t cause controversy. Most importantly he wins.
This year Manning was out with an injury the entire season and the Colts only managed to win a total of just 2 games this season.
Why would the Colts let him go?
There are several reasons. First of all, he may not really be healthy. Secondly, he probably doesn’t have that many seasons left and the Colts have a chance to draft a great quarterback this year. Most importantly, if they keep him it will cost them about $28 million because of the way his contract is set up. It's not all the Colts fault. Apparently, they weren't able to reach a deal with Manning to restructure the contract.
So what does this have to do with Calvin and Hobbes? Take a look at this cartoon:
It may be a little hard to read the comic, but here's what's happening. Calvin gets an 'A' on a paper. He imagines everyone in the world celebrating his success.
In the next frame, the teacher says "All right, Class. Books open. Next chapter." Calvin sighs.
I've heard the saying "You're only as good as your last game." Actually, you're only as good as your next game. Even if you're Peyton Manning.
I’ve just returned from a wonderful vacation with my wife, Lindsay and I’m going to attempt to keep myself in a vacation state of mind for as long as possible.
Do you know what I’m talking about?
Here are some basic things that happen when you’re in a vacation state of mind:
The food tastes better
You sleep more soundly at night
You appreciate nature
You appreciate the people around you
Little things don’t really get you angry
I think I can keep this going for at least a few weeks.
Wait.
What’s that phone call about?!
Oh crap! It’s a listener complaining about a song.
No problem. Happy thoughts. Breathe deeply.
The copier machine is down?!
That thing was broken before I left town!!!
What do you mean we have to have ANOTHER meeting?! We’ve already had four of them today!
NO. I CAN’T HELP YOU MOVE THIS WEEKEND!
ARE THERE NO PENS IN THIS PLACE?! THIS IS AN OFFICE RIGHT?!
WHAT?! ANOTHER MEETING?! I HAVE TO GRAB LUNCH FIRST. I GUESS I’LL JUST GO BUY SOME FAST FOOD CRAP AND CRAM IT DOWN MY THROAT.
UGH!!! I’M SO ANNOYED. NOW, WHAT WAS I WRITING ABOUT?! I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER ANYMORE!!
Today is World Goth Day, a day to celebrate the post-punk, anti-establishment, dark clothes-wearing subculture.
I'm pretty sure I was a Goth for at least for little while, for two reasons.
1) I almost hardly ever wear pastels.
2) I used to...
Hello to all from Nfusion. Another round of challenges has moved beyond us all. Congrats to those of us lucky enough to have survived to this point. Sad to see the others eliminated as they were all very creative and talented. Good Bye to our new friends...
This morning it seemed like just about everyone was in the mood for some Funky Cold Medina...except Kitty. This ridiculous song made it all the way to number 3 in 1989. Jonathan says any song that references advertising dogs from the 80's has got...
Madison's summer music festival season kicks off this weekend with Brat Fest at Willow Island, where there are more bands than you can shake a bratwurst at! Check out the Brat Fest website to plan your itinerary.
Next up is the Marquette...
John Fogerty is making the talk show rounds this week, stopping in to see David Letterman Tuesday and Wednesday, and the ladies of "The View" on Thursday.
He's promoting his new album, "Wrote a Song For Everyone" which comes out next Tuesday...
It's a miracle that both Jonathan and KItty wanted to hear Barry Manilow this morning. They were not alone. Plenty of Fanilow's called in to vote yes. One caller claimed to have seen Manilow in concert 25 times!
The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, it is another gorgeous Monday, fit for another great show at the Crystal Corner tonight.
Through locking ourselves in the barn on Irish Lane, tossing some ideas around, as well as a few choice beverages to...
Hey everybody, we were thrown for a loop by the twist this week, but were able to make one of our "oldie but a goldie" songs fit the mold.
We have a few songs that we have played consistently over the years, and we are very happy that we will be...
Today is World Goth Day, a day to celebrate the post-punk, anti-establishment, dark clothes-wearing subculture.
I'm pretty sure I was a Goth for at least for little while, for two reasons.
1) I almost hardly ever wear pastels.
2) I used to...
Hello to all from Nfusion. Another round of challenges has moved beyond us all. Congrats to those of us lucky enough to have survived to this point. Sad to see the others eliminated as they were all very creative and talented. Good Bye to our new friends...
This morning it seemed like just about everyone was in the mood for some Funky Cold Medina...except Kitty. This ridiculous song made it all the way to number 3 in 1989. Jonathan says any song that references advertising dogs from the 80's has got...
Madison's summer music festival season kicks off this weekend with Brat Fest at Willow Island, where there are more bands than you can shake a bratwurst at! Check out the Brat Fest website to plan your itinerary.
Next up is the Marquette...
John Fogerty is making the talk show rounds this week, stopping in to see David Letterman Tuesday and Wednesday, and the ladies of "The View" on Thursday.
He's promoting his new album, "Wrote a Song For Everyone" which comes out next Tuesday...
It's a miracle that both Jonathan and KItty wanted to hear Barry Manilow this morning. They were not alone. Plenty of Fanilow's called in to vote yes. One caller claimed to have seen Manilow in concert 25 times!
The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, it is another gorgeous Monday, fit for another great show at the Crystal Corner tonight.
Through locking ourselves in the barn on Irish Lane, tossing some ideas around, as well as a few choice beverages to...
Hey everybody, we were thrown for a loop by the twist this week, but were able to make one of our "oldie but a goldie" songs fit the mold.
We have a few songs that we have played consistently over the years, and we are very happy that we will be...
