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Jonathan Suttin

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How to Lose Weight Fast!

There have been lots of different weight loss products and programs over the years, but I have discovered the best way to lose weight.  I was not on this program, but today's guest blogger was on the program.  He will now share his incredible fitness story. Here is my cat, Baxter. Hey Humans, I've got a great weight loss program for you that works!  I used to think of myself as "big boned".  At least that's what I used to tell myself everyday when I couldn't properly give myself a tongue bath.  I knew it was a bunch of kitty litter, but I couldn't admit to myself that I had a problem.  I was weighing in at 18 pounds.  That's a lot of cat treats! Now I weigh in at an incredible 14 pounds!  Before you rip on me for only losing 4 pounds remember that's like 20 pounds to you. So how did I do it?  It wasn't Richard Simmons or that new PX90 system.  No, it was something much better.  I convinced Jonathan and Lindsay to move out of their apartment into a house. So simple, but so effective!  Now I can run up and down the stairs all day long!  It really works! I've also increased my workouts thanks to Jonathan accidentally leaving the front door open .  Just yesterday he let a moth in the house and I was able to chase it up and down and all around the house.   And for all you PETA fans, don't worry no moths were harmed in that exercise--except for the moth that was in the house. Here's another tip for you.  Make sure your bathroom is located in the basement because every time you gotta go...you gotta go all the way downstairs to do your business. I've been thinking Jonathan should move his "litter box" to the basement.  He could probably use the exercise. Anyway, the next time you need to lose some weight remember these simple steps: 1) Convince the people you live with to buy a house with several floors 2) Convince the aforementioned people to let insects into the house for you to catch 3) Make sure all bathrooms are located in the basement ONLY. 4) Only eat dried pebble-like cat food Good luck!!

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06/15/2010 8:06AM
How to Lose Weight Fast!
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