social icons WMMM twitterfacebook RSS facebook twitter RSS Center

Jonathan Suttin

What does Jonathan have to say?



How to Lose Weight Fast!

There have been lots of different weight loss products and programs over the years, but I have discovered the best way to lose weight.  I was not on this program, but today's guest blogger was on the program.  He will now share his incredible fitness story. Here is my cat, Baxter. Hey Humans, I've got a great weight loss program for you that works!  I used to think of myself as "big boned".  At least that's what I used to tell myself everyday when I couldn't properly give myself a tongue bath.  I knew it was a bunch of kitty litter, but I couldn't admit to myself that I had a problem.  I was weighing in at 18 pounds.  That's a lot of cat treats! Now I weigh in at an incredible 14 pounds!  Before you rip on me for only losing 4 pounds remember that's like 20 pounds to you. So how did I do it?  It wasn't Richard Simmons or that new PX90 system.  No, it was something much better.  I convinced Jonathan and Lindsay to move out of their apartment into a house. So simple, but so effective!  Now I can run up and down the stairs all day long!  It really works! I've also increased my workouts thanks to Jonathan accidentally leaving the front door open .  Just yesterday he let a moth in the house and I was able to chase it up and down and all around the house.   And for all you PETA fans, don't worry no moths were harmed in that exercise--except for the moth that was in the house. Here's another tip for you.  Make sure your bathroom is located in the basement because every time you gotta go...you gotta go all the way downstairs to do your business. I've been thinking Jonathan should move his "litter box" to the basement.  He could probably use the exercise. Anyway, the next time you need to lose some weight remember these simple steps: 1) Convince the people you live with to buy a house with several floors 2) Convince the aforementioned people to let insects into the house for you to catch 3) Make sure all bathrooms are located in the basement ONLY. 4) Only eat dried pebble-like cat food Good luck!!

Tags :  
Social :


Share This: | More


 
06/15/2010 8:06AM
How to Lose Weight Fast!
Please Enter Your Comments Below
Title :
Comment :
Listen Live (WMMM)
Playlist (WMMM)
Activate With M
Submit
Mayflies: faschinating, or horrifying? You decide.
The mayflies were out in full force over the past couple days. Now I've heard about these insects over the years, but have never experienced a mayfly swarm. I think I'm pretty happy about that. Apparently the mayflies were so thick they...
Read More
Free downloads: The Bayonets
If you were listening to Triple M on the morning of Thursday July 17th, you may have thought somehow we slipped back to 1965. But it wasn't an old song we were playing--it was a brand new one from the Los Angeles band the Bayonets, called "Crash...
Read More
RIP Johnny Winter--that guy sure could play
"For me, blues is a necessity." That's a quote from blues guitar great Johnny Winter, who died on Wednesday in Zurich, Switzerland. He came to prominence in the late 1960's after he was featured in a story in Rolling Stone magazine, put out 20...
Read More
World's Worst iPod: Information Society "What's On Your Mind (Pure Energy)"
There's something about the allure of Star Trek that made this song by Information Society extra special. It went all the way to #9 on the charts in 1988 for the band based in St. Paul, Minnesota. According to wikipedia, the band got the...
Read More
It's not *that* kind of pool party! ~ Stevi
Pool party's are the best! ...Until someone decides to drive a vehicle in for a swim. Someone should have told her Jeeps don't make good pool toys, and aren't boyant. Check it out, it'll make you feel better about that time you walked out...
Read More
Warren Buffett and Paul McCartney: the conversation
By now you've probably seen that "selfie" taken by a kid in Nebraska with Warren Buffett and Paul McCartney sitting on a bench in the background. (No? Click here). But I have something more exclusive..the transcript of the conversation these two...
Read More
The new Pink Floyd album won't be what you're hoping for
A lot of Pink Floyd fans got a little bit excited over the weekend, after the wife of David Gilmour announced that a new Pink Floyd album would be coming out this October. Even though Roger Waters wouldn't be a part of it, the idea of the first...
Read More
World's Worst iPod: Alice Cooper "You and Me"
Can a song be so horrible that it's actually awesome? Well, if that is possible, here is an example: Alice Cooper's emotional ballad "You and Me" from 1977. I'm not sure we could think up a more hideous lyric than "we shared a bed, some...
Read More
 
Recent Blog Posts
Mayflies: faschinating, or horrifying? You decide.
The mayflies were out in full force over the past couple days. Now I've heard about these insects over the years, but have never experienced a mayfly swarm. I think I'm pretty happy about that. Apparently the mayflies were so thick they...
Read More
Free downloads: The Bayonets
If you were listening to Triple M on the morning of Thursday July 17th, you may have thought somehow we slipped back to 1965. But it wasn't an old song we were playing--it was a brand new one from the Los Angeles band the Bayonets, called "Crash...
Read More
RIP Johnny Winter--that guy sure could play
"For me, blues is a necessity." That's a quote from blues guitar great Johnny Winter, who died on Wednesday in Zurich, Switzerland. He came to prominence in the late 1960's after he was featured in a story in Rolling Stone magazine, put out 20...
Read More
World's Worst iPod: Information Society "What's On Your Mind (Pure Energy)"
There's something about the allure of Star Trek that made this song by Information Society extra special. It went all the way to #9 on the charts in 1988 for the band based in St. Paul, Minnesota. According to wikipedia, the band got the...
Read More
It's not *that* kind of pool party! ~ Stevi
Pool party's are the best! ...Until someone decides to drive a vehicle in for a swim. Someone should have told her Jeeps don't make good pool toys, and aren't boyant. Check it out, it'll make you feel better about that time you walked out...
Read More
Warren Buffett and Paul McCartney: the conversation
By now you've probably seen that "selfie" taken by a kid in Nebraska with Warren Buffett and Paul McCartney sitting on a bench in the background. (No? Click here). But I have something more exclusive..the transcript of the conversation these two...
Read More
The new Pink Floyd album won't be what you're hoping for
A lot of Pink Floyd fans got a little bit excited over the weekend, after the wife of David Gilmour announced that a new Pink Floyd album would be coming out this October. Even though Roger Waters wouldn't be a part of it, the idea of the first...
Read More
World's Worst iPod: Alice Cooper "You and Me"
Can a song be so horrible that it's actually awesome? Well, if that is possible, here is an example: Alice Cooper's emotional ballad "You and Me" from 1977. I'm not sure we could think up a more hideous lyric than "we shared a bed, some...
Read More
Categories
Archives