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Jonathan Suttin

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Back to the Stone Age

Last night I was trapped for about four and a half hours!  It was incredible that I was able to survive.  No, I wasn't trapped in a well or stuck under some large kitchen appliance.  It was even worse.  My internet and cable were down! I was sent back to the stone age.  After about 20 minutes I realized I should keep a journal of this awful experience.  Here it is: 5:30pm: I turn on my television to see what's on Comedy Central.  No connection.  No big deal.  I'm sure it will be fixed in a few minutes. 5:33pm: Still no television.  I go to my computer to surf the web.  No internet. 5:35pm: Call to my cable and internet provider.  I hear a recorded message that they are aware of the problem and are working on it. 5:36pm: Still no t.v. 5:37pm: Decide to do some laundry since I can't surf or watch television 5:40pm: Still no internet 5:41pm: Make a few phone calls to friends and  family to talk about my horrible situation 6:02pm: Still no internet or t.v. 6:03pm: Flip through the latest New Yorker and start reading article about Rahm Emanuel.  Have the burning desire to look at his Wikipedia page. 6:04pm: Internet still down can't look at Wikipedia 6:06pm: Vacuum apartment 6:17pm: Damn!  Still no internet or t.v. 6:20pm: Put clothes in the dryer 6:22pm: You guessed it, no internet or t.v. 6:25pm: Play with my cat, Baxter.   He asks how the White Sox did in their spring training game. 6:26pm: Forget the internet is down and try to check White Sox score for Baxter 6:27pm: Call more friends to waste time 7:07pm: It's too cliche to say I rearranged my sock drawer.  Instead I reorganize t-shirts by color and then by logo. 7:15pm: Yell at television for not working 7:16pm: Yell at computer for not being able to provide me with internet 7:18pm: Call from phone solicitor who wants to hang up with me because I'm too clingy 7:35pm: Take clothes out of dryer, fold and put away 7:45pm: Start to accept that I might miss the new episode of 30 Rock 7:50pm: Attempt to play Gin Rummy with Baxter 8:01pm: Realized Baxter is a cheater at Gin Rummy 8:02pm: Think about television and internet but don't check to see if they are back 8:02pm and 30 seconds: Check to see if service has returned 8:03pm: Consider go to workout room 8:04pm: Eat Skinny Cow Ice Cream Bar instead 8:05pm: Phone rings.  Wrong number but spend 20 minutes telling stranger my woes 8:25pm: Think about what I used to do before internet. 8:26pm: Attempt to go to internet to type into Google: "What people did before internet" 8:28pm: Cry 8:30pm: Play game of checkers with Baxter 8:35pm: Damn!  That cat is good at checkers 8:40pm: Wonder what funny comments Tina Fey is saying to Alec Baldwin 8:45pm: Baxter and I act out some of our favorite scenes from 30 Rock 9:15pm: Brush my teeth and wash my face.  I guess I'll have to try to go to sleep 9:20pm: One last check. 9:20 and 10 seconds:  HALLELUJAH!!!! THE INTERNET AND TELEVISION ARE BACK!!!!! 9:21pm until ?: Surf stupid stuff on-line and flip through television channels way past my bedtime.

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02/26/2009 7:59PM
Back to the Stone Age
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