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Jonathan Suttin

Kitty Dunn

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footballfoodHow can we possibly enjoy Sunday's big football game, without the pleasure of watching either Aaron Rodgers or Brett Favre? Bring this checklist to your football party, and we guarantee your experience will be at least 30 percent more exciting (plus or minus 30 percent). - In hour 3 of the pre-game show, you lose interest in the interview of Drew Brees' pee wee coach  +100 points You realize that's much more compelling than Uncle Phil's gallstone surgery recap  -50 points - One of the announcers mentions the balmy temperature in Miami  +200 points Your spouse complains the beer is not quite cold enough  -100 points - Carrie Underwood's National Anthem rocks!  + 300 points Aunt Carol's 7 layer salad contains a layer of rock salt -75 points - Peyton Manning's overachieving family members smile down from the skybox  +100 points Your overachieving brother beats you to the best spot on the couch  -200 points - Reggie Bush blows a kiss to gal pal Kim Cardashian in the stands  +250 points You blew 50 bucks with rotten numbers in that football pool!  -50 points  - Your air guitar rivals Pete Townshend's during the Who's halftime show  +500 points You just now realize John Entwistle and Keith Moon are no longer in the band  -500 points - You get a warm feeling when you see cute puppies on a commercial  +200 points You get another warm feeling when you realize you should excused yourself after that last beer  -150 points -  How did you do? 500+ points: You're this close to having the expressed written permission of that one major football league 200-499 points: Mark your calendars..pitchers and catchers report for spring training Feb. 18 0-199 points: That hummus was talking to you again, wasn't it?

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02/05/2010 7:29AM
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