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Jonathan Suttin

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A Thigh of Relief

Today Jonathan has invited Plaxico Burress' thigh to write a guest blog. If you missed the news, Burress,  the star wide receiver for the New York Giants, accidentlaly shot his own thigh the other evening at a night club. Burress' had an unregistered handgun and could be facing up to three years in prison.  A sentence Mayor Michael Bloomberg wants carried out. Considering Burress' thigh was the victim in this case, Jonathan wanted the thigh to have a chance to speak out.  Here is the exclusive thoughts by the thigh. Thank you, Jonathan and Triple M for giving me this opportunity to speak out about Plaxico and his rather reckless move the other night.  First let me say that I've enjoyed being Plaxico's thigh all these years.  When were were little we had lots of fun times together.  I remember running around the streest with Plax and riding bicycles.  It was great. I have to admit our college years were pretty awesome too.  I met my share of thighs, if you know what I mean.  Wink. Wink. The Super Bowl last year was incredible too!  Plax and I caught the winning touchdown with just a few ticks on the clock to give the Giants the win over those annoying New England Patriots!  Things were great for Plax and me.  We were superstars. Things got a little weird over the off-season and I think it might be my fault.  I've always been fascinated with thigh-high stockings.  I know the thigh highs are for women, but they just seem so silky and so smooth.  I  just wanted to tr them.  I kept asking Plax to get a pair.  I told him we can just wear them at home.  No one will ever know. Well, I kept bugging him about the thigh-highs and I finally convinced him  to buy a pair.  We went to Victoria's Secret and got a pair.  They looked awesome.  I kept bugging Plax to put them on.  He said  he wanted to go out with some friends, first.  We got to the club and I kept twitching because I was excited to put on the thigh-highs.  He kept hitting me and telling me to calm down.   I couldn't wait!  Finally, he just got  so mad he shot me. Can you believe it!?  That piece of @#$% shot me!  After all I've done for him!  He friggin shoots me just because I want to get a little experimental! He should go off  to jail! Wait, I have to go too? Okay, maybe he should just get probation.

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12/15/2008 2:08PM
A Thigh of Relief
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