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[Pick of the Week] Top 10 Bands I Can't Stand

THE TOP 10 BANDS I CAN'T STAND

You remember the old Seinfeld episode “The Library” that had George Costanza recollecting about his old high school days and how his gym teacher Mr. Heyman would intentionally mispronounce his name to “Can’t-stand-ya!”  Well, what that gym teacher saw in George is what I see in the following bands.  Here it is: 10 bands I just can’t stand.

#10 ) Genesis

Genesis has earned a nod because they round out the bottom of the barrel.  It's not that I hate Phil Collins, it's just that some of their songs are so awful that I cringe to think about listening to them.

#9) Korn

Some people like to listen to Korn because of this "totally awesome beat."  But, they're just not a very good band.  They recently did a cover of "Another Brick in the Wall" by Pink Floyd and murdered it.  They took the song out into a cornfield, made it dig a hole, and then shot it several times.

#8) Michael Bolton

I think the movie "Office Space" sums up Bolton the best as a "no-talent ass clown."

#7) New Weezer

Weezer has just been destroying everything I have loved about them.  Granted, they've put out a few good songs recently, but their last albums have had some real stinkers.

#6) Dave Matthews Band

The only thing worse than this band are its fans.  They're awful.  "Dude, you have to check them out because they're like the greatest band ever."  No, they're not.  Seeing them is like going out to dinner for what you think is a real fancy meal, only to get moldy bread and stale water and being forced to pay $50 for it.

#5) Train

Hey Soul Sister, get off the radio!

#4) Jimmy Buffett

Oh man, this one might give me some flak, but I don't care.  I hated Jimmy Buffet the minute I heard anything he wrote.  The cheeky clang of his guitar combined with his awful voice that sings solely about beaches and margaritas is just so awful. I think media scholar Cartman from South Park sums it up eloquently, "Nobody likes Jimmy Buffet except for frat boys and alcoholic chicks from the south!  F$@% you Jimmy Buffet, you f$*@ing suck!

#3) Def Leppard

Why don't you go pour some sugar in your mouth and be quiet?  I mean the 80's were a terrible decade for music.  They had some good stuff, but Def Leppard is not on that list.

#2) Insane Clown Posse

How can I even begin to describe my loathing for this band?  I think I can sum it up in one of their hilarious lyrics off the song "Miracles:" "I've seen miracles all around me, stop and look around it's all astounding, water, fire air and dirt, f@cking magnets, how do they work?  I don't want to talk to a scientist, ya'll MF lying and getting me pissed." Talk about poetry!  Wow.  Coming out of the deep intellectual void of Detroit (I apologize if you're from Michigan), the two members of the group are called "Violent J" and "Shaggy 2 Dope."  Don't listen to them.

#1) Nickelback

Listening to them makes me angry.  Not in a sense of I want to be violent, but just mad that they exist.  But they have to, right?  I mean, our definition of what's good has to be in relative proportion to what's bad, right?  And these guys are really really really bad, so it makes me appreciate a lot more music. All their songs sound the same and are so generic and bland.  And I bought one of their albums when I was young and naive.  I'm not a perfect human being, and paying for Nickelback has given me a lot of buyer remorse.

Following up

What are some of your least favorite bands/singers?  I'm sure that we can come up with a growing list of people we just can't stand!



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11/05/2010 7:46AM
[Pick of the Week] Top 10 Bands I Can't Stand
Please Enter Your Comments Below
11/05/2010 10:18AM
Rachel
CREED!!! How are the first 5 entries NOT Creed?
11/05/2010 12:28PM
Brendan
I agree about Creed. But aren't they just the Christian version of Nickelback?
11/06/2010 12:41AM
Nick Roberts
Sorry, DMB is my favorite band. The fans can be terrible (which is sometimes why I never admit how huge of a fan I am of them), but their music and live shows can't be beat. I don't get to see them that often (since I don't have a lot of money, or stable transportation), but when I do see them it is just amazing. And if you then question my musical taste, my Hero is John Lennon. I also love Bob Dylan, Neil Young, David Gray, Pink Floyd, The Beatles (together and solo), Howard Shore, Clapton, Barenaked Ladies, Swell Season, Arcade Fire, Bruce Springsteen, Dream Theater, Dire Straits, Emmy Lou Harris, Garbage, Talking Heads, Peter Gabriel, Beethoven, and Tony Bennett. Also, DMB does NOT belong in a list with Justin Bieber.
11/06/2010 10:37AM
Aric Way
Grace Potter and her damn band
11/09/2010 11:13PM
x-ray technician
My partner and I really enjoyed reading this blog post, I was just itching to know do you trade featured posts? I am always trying to find someone to make trades with and merely thought I would ask.
11/11/2010 1:28PM
Zylan
Oh my... Where to begin...
11/11/2010 1:38PM
Zylan
Wings America The guy who writes the songs that make the whole world sing. (I can't even utter his name without becoming clammy and light headed) The Bee Gees (Puhleeze) No not the Police but...STINGEE Almost all sensitive singer song writers Maroon 5 (and 6,7,8,9 and ten if they ever try it)
11/11/2010 2:16PM
Dave Hoon
This is supposed to be bands, not singers right? Phish - warmed over Grateful Dead, who could also make the list
11/11/2010 2:31PM
Bill
This is an awful article. It's inarticulate, arrogant and generally doesn't have anything interesting or thought-provoking to say. I suspect that if the writer was required to sign his or her name to it they would have been a little less full of themselves instead of acting like a snarling dog ready to bite anything close enough to reach. So you loathe some bands; great. That the writer has to rely on quotes from movies to explain those opinions means there probably aren't many original thoughts in that brain. If all I wanted was a pissing contest, I could go to a bar and bitch about Brett Favre. Color me unimpressed.
11/11/2010 5:24PM
Scott
Peter Gabriel-era Genesis was great I thought, once he left ya they suck. But as for Train- cute chicks dig them so they're fun so see live. If you're into cute chicks, that is.
11/12/2010 8:20AM
Mike
Come on now. Everybody is a closet Buffet fan. Quoted by a true Parrothead
11/13/2010 7:10AM
Peg
AC/DC Any kid who picks up a guitar for the first time is better than these guys. MMM needs to stop playing that horrible "Sound of Sunshine" song. I can't change the station fast enough when that comes on.
11/17/2010 11:12AM
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